The days of yester year are over, and my mother’s drowned out sorrows of a lackluster sex life has conquered a new voice. In this new age of a revitalized feminism, and the fight for women’s choice, sex has become a topic as free and frequent as tonight’s dinner choice.
As a YOLO advocate, I must say that my refusal to waste time and suffer because a man can’t get it together sexually, has been sparing. Being a single mom has it’s own limitations when it comes to romance, and I for one, am an advocate for basking in the ambiance of a good lay. I make no apologies for my sexuality, or my needs. Those needs being met, can make or break an entire relationship, especially if my partner isn’t attentive. What can I say, I’ve been spoiled.
See for me, if the person I’m with doesn’t get it right the first time, that’s okay. We all make mistakes. The true question, is whether or not you can learn from them. My busy life leaves little time for teaching, and everyone is not a quick learner. I don’t know about you, but I’m over the days of being left unsatisfied. I had an ex who taught me a valuable lesson. One day he randomly asked me, what did I like sexually. At the time I didn’t quite know. I hadn’t taken the time to learn my body, and he quickly suggested that I did. “How can I know what you like and want, if you don’t know?”
His questions were fair, and made me truly take a look back at my sexual experiences. My first experience with an orgasm didn’t occur until my twenties and even then I thought something was wrong. It didn’t take long for me to realize what my partner had to do to get me there, but now it was time for me to learn how to get myself there. I set out on my conquest with numerous “toys” and gadgets with the intent of finding my pleasure. It didn’t take long for me to realize I was a girl who loved clitoral stimulation. Penetration was fun and all, but it didn’t drive my orgasm.
Every vagina is different. The same way penises come in different sizes, so do vaginas. They are stimulated in different ways, with some vaginal canals embedded deeper than others. My advice is to learn your body. Don’t be afraid to play with yourself. Being definitive about what you want, will make it easier to teach your partner; and if that doesn’t work, at least you’ll know how to satisfy yourself.
Be on the lookout for our After Dark podcast with more topics like this!