Finding Love

As a single mom, finding love is far off my radar. With a son going to college, a middle schooler, first grader, and running a business, socializing is the last thing on my mind. It’s not that I don’t desire a special connection with someone, or haven’t tried, but the intensity of my schedule always deters potential suitors. I know for me to find love, real love, I would have to meet someone that matches my hustle. The drive of two people must be a reflection of each other’s drive.
I’ve been in a relationship where that is not the case, and let’s just say the redundant arguing about the subject is a bit overwhelming. My ex and I were together for years. Our relationship blossomed when I was still unsure of my path in life. When that road became clear to me, I changed. My desire for certain things shifted and my focus became so intense I had to remind myself that life existed outside of my goal. When you become determined to achieve your dreams, hanging out and “kicking it,” is usually not a part of the equation to achieve it. My ex, is one of the greatest friends I’ve ever had, but we are completely different. He’s always been the social butterfly. He is the creator of a popular social group and loves having events and activities for his members to participate in. He’s content with the normal 9 to 5 so he can have more leisure time for his group. He’s the work, play type. I, on the other hand, am the work, work, work, and work some more, and maybe a little play type. Neither type is wrong, its just that we were wrong for each other. It’s not that I never wanted to “play,” I just believe that play is deserved when dreams and goals are met. Until then I have no time to play. That’s my personal hustle, everyone is different. He was different, and that is where we clashed the most.
I was always the type to believe that opposites attract, and my intensity would be brought down by his “chill.” Honestly, it just started to feel like he was water to my fire. I began to believe that he was unsupportive of my dream. It wasn’t until a recent conversation that I found out, that wasn’t the case. I wanted to believe in retrospect, that may have made a difference. So of course I had to ask myself would that have changed the success of our relationship. The answer is no. At the end of the day he still didn’t understand my grind factor, and I didn’t understand the lack in his. Maybe it’s because he’s found what makes him happy. He’s content. I am not. There is so much I want in life, not just for me, for my children, for my mother, and for my family. I need someone in my life who will wholeheartedly understand and respect that. Someone who grinds just as hard on the side of me, someone who matches my hustle. Until then, I’ll keep working hard, and pray that God sends my hustle mate!

Author: Elizabeth Keith

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